You're Lost and Broken
by L H Retrac
Summary: Blaine Anderson turns up at Dalton Academy a little lost and a lot broken. Can the Warblers fix him before it's too late? trigger warnings inside
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my newest fic! I'm not very good at keeping things going but I'll try!**

**This may contain slight self-harm triggers, but individual warnings will be posted on each chapter. **

**This is my take on how Blaine Anderson settles in at Dalton with a little bit of help from the Warblers!**

An authoritive, kindly woman crept down the corridor towards the hidden auditorium. She met no one in her path. The corridoor was old, very old, and immaculate. When she reached the heavy oak door she waited outside to hear the music from within.

_"If happy little bluebirds fly_

_Beyond the rainbow_

_Why, oh why, can't I?"_

She breathed a happy sigh. The haunting melody was beautiful in it's own way. She pressed her ear back to the door to hear them critise themselves.

"Wes, I'm telling you, that was fine!"

"It could have been better though..."

"I agree. We need something more edgy, a little top 40's, a little Katy Perry."

"And where do you suggest we find this Thaddeus?!"

The woman stood up and straightened her blazer, ready to make an entrance.

She was Dean Nichols of Dalton Academy in Westerville, Ohio.

Her school was sacred, and filled with traditions and wisdom passed through her family, who had always been the Deans.

They wanted to start a school where boys would be raised properly, with manners and acceptance of each other, whilst still understanding that boys needed time to be boys and have fun.

She offered strict boundaries for anyone who stepped out of line, and a home for those boys who's parents didn't want them.

She had a greater understanding of people than they had about themselves. Dean Nichols was proud of everyone in her school, but most of all the Warblers.

They brought people together in ways you can only imagine, through the powers of music. That was why she wanted to talk to them today.

The door swung open, startling most of the boys inside, who were still out of breath from rehearsals.

"Dean Nichols!" They exclaimed happily. She was loved and well respected amongst her boys.

"What brings you here today Ma'am?" David, an afro-american boy asked.

"I wanted to talk to you all about a very serious thing. Please do sit down and get comfortable," She said, gesturing to the leather sofas and chairs around the room. Some of the boys chose to sit on the tables and piano, which didn't bother her.

"At Dalton we pride ourselves in making a safe place for teenage boys. A lot of people come here to escape bullies, or unaccepting parents, or any manner of things. Sometimes these people need a little more help than others to help them settle in and bring them out of their shell. And these people should not be treated differently."

"Dean Nichols, if I could interrupt?" Wes, the gavel-loving leader asks.

She nods affirmitively and he carries on.

"We all know this, and we all love and accept each other here. Have you not heard of our numerous 'Warbler Bonding Nights' and other activities?"

"Of course I have Wes. Why I wanted to talk to you today is because we have a new boy arriving tomorrow. This boy is just getting out of hospital, for reasons I can not say, and will be attending here for reasons that I also can not share with you. But I can tell you that he loves music, and he's going to need all of your support to help get him through this."

The boys looked sombre but optimistic. It wasn't the first time they had dealt with something like this, but it hurt them to see people in distress.

"Wes and David, may I also talk seperately with you for a moment ?"

"Sure Ma'am. Everybody, can you get into groups and discuss your harmonies?" David quietly ordered.

He and his best friend Wes walked over to the corner of the room where Dean Nicholas was.

The two of them had been best friends since elementary school and knew everything about each other. It meant a lot to them to be on the Warbler council together with their friend Thad, who they had also known years.

"Dean Nichols how can we help you?" Wes inquired.

"The new boy will be rooming across from you two for the first week. After that he may be moved in with you. I know this is not the normal protocol," she held up a hand to silence Wes's outburst that was sure to happen soon.

"But this boy needs all the help he can get. Escort him to meals and each of his classes, invite him into the Warblers, hang out with him after school. Make sure he is on his own for as little as possible. And if you hear any strange noises coming from his bedroom, go and make sure he's okay."

Wes and David looked both shocked and confused. They had seen people who had been bullied before but this, this was extreme.

"One more thing!" David said as Dean Nichols turned to leave.

"Yes David?"

"His name?"

"Blaine Anderson."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay! I meant to have it up quicker but my laptop deleted it several times -.- this one isn't triggering, but the next one probably will be! And incase it's not obvious**

_Blaine's thoughts_

**Enjoy!**

Blaine watched the slow trickle of condensation make its way down the window. Cooper's silver Volvo moved quietly and effortlessly through the dreary weather outside.

Has February always been this cold? His mind wondered for a second before realising that it doesnt matter, nothing really matters anymore.

It was werid seeing the sky again, after being in the white hopsital where the hum of nurses' voices and the steady beeping of machines was the only thing reminding him that he was alive.

The outside world was strange. Things happened and changed, but left Blaine behind. The nurses all told him that the sun would come out for Blaine, but the sky remained resiliantly grey.

He allowed his mind to wander, but not too far so that the memories would dredge back up to the surface.

Blaine didn't know how long he was in hospital for, days probably judging by the amount that Cooper appears to have done. And Cooper's a slow worker as it is.

Thinking of Cooper reminded him that his brother was talking, and he was most probably supposed to be listening. He didn't even realise when he had tuned out. Most of his life passed by like that.

"Dean Nichols was lovely. She gave me that welcome pack to give to you with all the rules and regulations, timetables, dorm key and everything else you need."

Blaine stared down at the file in his lap that Cooper has gesturing too and wondered how it got there, if there where any weapons attached.

_I wonder if you could attach weapons to an ordinary file. _He thought. _You could strap a blade on, or maybe you could... _

There he goes again with that tuning out thing.

"I've been up to your room. It's a single, but there's some boys opposite who seemed eager to be friends. I dropped off some boxes with your old stuff as well, I could probably bring more if and when you need them. I'll take you up there but then I have to leave. LA awaits! me job at the moment is really just some more character stuff,"

Blaine decided he didnt't need to hear anymore. He looked outsideand focused on how the rain fell. He like the rain. It always fell and hit the ground.

Cooper's car turned off the road and into the entrance of Dalton Academy.

Blaine got out of the car in his constant state of a dream like haze and mindlessly followed Cooper into a building, presumably the dorms.

He didn't notice the serenity of the school or the grand decor that was both obviously well cared for and looked so much like his favourite book.

_What used to be my favourite book _He corrected himself bitterly. _Nothing's interesting anymore, remember? _

They walked up a few flights of marble staircases and a little way down the hallway before Cooper stopped outside a door.

"This is it Blainers. I made weekly appointments with the school counsellor. Look after yourself. This school will make you better if you only let people in. Don't shut yourself off, like you don't matter, because you matter Blaine. And Blaine, start singing again."

Cooper gave him a brief hug that still made him panic, and then walked away.

He gave him one last long look as he turned the corner, like he was scared he'll never see Blaine again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the super long delay! I transferred schools so I have loads of work to do but I'll try my best. This chapter is triggering, if you don't want to read it then skip after the random line of '36'. Enjoy!**

The room is bare. On the right there is a double bed with dark oak bedside tables either side, each with two drawers and a lamp on top. To the left there is a large wardrobe in the same shade as as the bedside tables. On the far side wall, opposite the door there is a desk with a cork notice board above it.

The room is so large that the majority of it is empty space. Contrary to what Blaine had secretly been hoping for, bathrooms are communal for each floor.

Not all of the boys boarded, only 60 or so, and so the dorms weren't that hard to navigate. Each year had its own floor, with its own kitchen, bathroom and common rooms. The boys could cook if they so wished or eat in the canteen free of charge. On Blaine's floor, the Juniors, had about 15 boys from the number of rooms with names on the door.

Blaine wanted his room to feel like his, but Cooper had only packed the things that were too obvious and bright and **gay. **He had one personal touch. A photo of him and Cooper and Posy last Christmas. The one where Posy's Nanny, Hilda, had cooked a meal and brought them a tree.

_God I miss her. I'm no good for her anymore. She should forget about me. _

He slipped on the uniform, hoping it will make him inconspicous if he decides to head out. Although tea should be served soon he probably won't go down. _Food isn't worth it. Let the food go to someone who needs it, rather than fattening up something like me. _Food isn't so much of importance anymore, in fact he's been doing all he can to avoid it.

A sharp knock on the door brings him out of the thoughts. Panic. _they've found out already, they're going to beat me up. So much for the no bullying policy. How do they know? Just co -operate, they'll go easier on you...hopefully. _His thoughts carried on erratically.

_Calm, Blaine, calm. Remember what that one therapist said. Think of the things that make you calm. The colour crimson, Jelly Beans in the sunshine with Posy, the smell of dust after it rains._

He stood up, walking cautiously so to make the few steps towards the door last as long as possible.

_Crimson, Sunshine, Petrichor._

_Crimson, Sunshine, Petrichor._

He swing open the door and shut his eyes, waiting for the blow to come. _Crimson, Sunshine, Petrichor. _Nothing came at first.

_What are they waiting for? _Blaine opened one eye, and then the other, expecting to see that they've run away, or are waiting for him to look, or fall into a trap. Instead he saw two boys, one asian, one afro-american, both with quizzical looks on their faces.

"ermm, you okay dude?" The afro-american one asked.

_Crimson, Sunshine, Petrichor._

"Who are you?" Blaine asked before he caught himself. _Crap, now they're going to beat me up for being rude, this is private school after all._

To his relief, the asian one chuckled. "I'm Wes, this is David." He said, gesturing first to himself and then to the boy next to him. "We live opposite."

"And we wanted to know if you wanted to get dinner with us?"

_Ahhhh this is their plan. Get me into a false sense of security by inviting me to dinner and then ambushing me on the way. _"Urmmm no thanks I'm not hungry."

"You have to be hungry."

"Yeah bro. We're not going to just leave you here."

"Seriously, I don't want anything." Blaine said desperatly trying to get out of it.

"Even if you don't eat, at least come with us"

"We're not going to take no for an answer," David said, grabbing Blaine's wrist.

_OW! Please no, this can't be happening! _Blaine's heart started to race. Luckily, David noticed the change and dropped his wrist like he had been burned.

"Errr okay dude?" He said.

"Fine." Blaine said, shutting his door and proceding to follow the two boys down the hall.

All the way to the dining hall David and Wes kept talking, trying to get responces out of Blaine, who would never give more details than necessary.

They arrived at the dining hall, and Blaine's eyes widened.

_Shit this is huge! They're all going to attack me I can sense it. _His time he couldn't control it. There had been too much stress on his body for one day.

Blaine started hyperventilating. He fell to the floor and whimpered, begging them not to hurt him. Of course, everyone else in the room noticed, and turned to look at the new boy on the floor having a panic attack.

"WES!" David yelled, grabbing Blaine's waist and hoisting him over his shoulder. "Clear the path, this kid needs to go to the nurse!"

Wes pushed people out of the way and ran ahead of David to get out of the hall.

In the corridor, Blaine had calmed down enough to talk.

"Put me down, I'm fine I swear."

"You just had a fit on us. You need to see the nurse." David said setting him down. Wes also notice they had stopped and so joined them.

"Yeah Blaine, we're worried."

"You don't need to worry about me, I can handle myself." Blaine said adamently, folding his arms.

Wes and David could see that they were getting no where with this kid.

"Alright then, shout if you need anything." David said, letting Blaine go back to his room. When Blaine was out of ear shot he turned to Wes.

"What are we going to do?"

"Get some blankets and food. We're going to sit outside this door and listen in case he needs anything."

"But we already live opposite."

"Yeah and what if he's quietly in distress? We have no idea what's going on in his head. This would make me feel more at ease."

"Alright then."

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Blaine could hear the two boys on the other side of the door quietly talking.

_So they're waiting for me. _

He couldn't take it any more. He reached into his bag from the hospital. The nurses didn't know he had this. Neither did Cooper. A beautiful, strong, clean blade. It glistened, still new enough to have no dried blood or rust.

Blaine brought the cold blade to his fore arm, pressed it in and dragged. The sharp sting and the intake of breath, and he could feel the warm blood. He shut his eyes, revelling in the relief. He brought the blade back and sliced again, focussing on the pain. He opened his eyes when lights started dancing behind his eyes. Instead, he looked at the blood. Crimson, his calmer. It ran down his arm and across his wrist, painting it. Then it dripped onto the floor below. Blaine sank to the floor and sliced a few more times. More crimson. He wanted to carry on until all that beautiful crimson was out, painting his room so people would finally see the real him. He kept slicing until the room started to go fuzzy. He smiled, the feeling of numb was welcome after today.

_Stop now Blaine, _logic commanded. And he listened, just this once. Put the blade down and put a cloth on the wounds to stop the bleeding before letting the darkness consume him for the night.

**I'm so sorry if that triggered you. I'm trying to recover so writing when I get urges really helps me.**


End file.
